A survey finds that the number of young adult Malaysians having sex has doubled since 2016, but their knowledge is shockingly lacking.
And even though 40% of youths felt pressured to have sex, almost half (42%) did not use a condom or other forms of birth control, which led to one out of 20 women experiencing an unwanted pregnancy.
Space to learn needed
Growing peer pressure to have premarital sex plays a major role in sexual and reproductive health-related decision-making among youths. Since sexuality education is still considered a sensitive topic here, our youths are struggling to find a space to talk openly and find the right answers. “When our parents asked our grandparents about sex, they didn’t know how to answer, and similarly, our parents don’t know how to answer their kids. “So, how can they have conversations about sex when they themselves are unsure about many things?” asks counsellor and sex therapist Chan Fun Shin. He adds that most youth are embarrassed or uncomfortable saying the words vagina or penis. “Role-play with your friend by saying those words to start a conversation about sex. “Eventually, you will get more relaxed and more exposed to what safe sex is,” he advises. Adds Soroptimist International Club of Petaling Jaya’s SPOT (Soroptimist Puberty Organising Toolkit) Community Project founder Siti Aishah Hassan Hasri: “We suffer a lot of communication ‘fuzziness’ in Malaysia. “We don’t even want to say the word penis; instead we say ‘pipi saya gatal’ and people who receive the information might think you are referring to your cheek!” One result of this lack of proper communication about sex from trusted authorities is that many people turn to alternate sources of information about the topic. As mentioned earlier, 60% of Malaysian youth turn to online articles, movies and videos to today’s younger generation don’t accept “yes” or “no” answers; they want to know why and how, especially when it comes to the birds and the bees. — tns learn about sex. Nearly half (48%) turn to pornography. Even more concerning is that one in three believe that the sex shown in pornography is normal. “Although pornography tends to be viewed in a bad light, I think it plays a significant role in educating the youth concerning sex,” says engineering student Sharvendran Selvan, 22. He adds though that: “It is a no-brainer that the sexual activity shown in pornography is beyond normal human capability and far from the reality. “However, it is in our youths’ hands whether they take it positively as a mere source of knowledge, or negatively by implementing everything that they have seen.” On the other hand, linguistics student Priya*, 23, opines: “Pornography is not the right place to learn about sex as they practice unprotected and unhygienic sex, and could potentially be a bad influence on youths.” Allowing questions Siti Aishah shares that: “When we speak with young people, we have to train our peer advocates so that they can speak in the same language and the same mannerisms or acronyms. “Our main goal is to remove the hypersexualisation from the word sex and everything that comes under it.” Established in 2015, SPOT uses carefully-designed modules to equip girls of all ages with the confidence and resilience to make informed decisions regarding their well-being. “I have 13- and 14-year-olds asking me about sending nude pictures or if size matters in bed. “It’s not because they want to have sex, but because they are curious. “We want to be able to talk about gender and sex very openly and respectfully. “Our business is providing safe spaces for young people to have conversations surrounding sex and sexuality,” she says. Linguistics student Arung*, 22, believes that youth are very conscious of our judgemental society, as well as overall public opinion. She says: “In a country like Malaysia, where sex-related topics are still considered taboo in many places, it is hard not to be judged by the public and this is what prevents youths from seeking help.” She thinks that sex-related concerns among youth should be addressed via proper sex education in schools, as well as via social media. “The government should provide a proper platform for the youth where they can learn accurate information, especially as taboos about sex mean this topic is not addressed enough among our people.” She adds: “It is a well-known fact that youths are constantly on social media such as Tiktok and Instagram. “Thus, addressing and normalising topics related to sex on such platforms would be efficient and effective.” Language student Wong*, 22, agrees, suggesting a platform on social media that is easily accessible and where youth can anonymously post questions. “As youth nowadays are very timid, regularly organising an anonymous Q&A (question and answer) session with professionals would help in clearing their doubts,” she says.
To form a strong, long-lasting bond, intimacy is a key ingredient – it’s what human beings crave in order to create a safe, loving and happy relationship.
Why and how ?
Siti Aishah says: “We are all born as sensual creatures and have emotional, physical, mental and physiological needs that have to be fulfilled in order for us to grow.
The company hopes to help Malaysian youths reduce the gaps in their sexual knowledge, equip them with accurate information and guide them to making better and more informed decisions around their sexual activities. *not their real names
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Number of young Malaysians having sex has doubled since ...