http://t.cn/RqKJeMK
Pro-singledom ad goes viral
http://t.cn/RqoWcGm
Rightways: Think Global, Act Local; Change & Grow Rich; Sow as You Reap & Soar High!
Showing posts with label singles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singles. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Leftover women and men: the sheng nu and sheng nan (guang gun)
http://t.cn/RqKJeMK
http://t.cn/RqoWcGm
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Chinese New Year Reunion 2016
‘Falling’ in love: A screengrab of Mah Sing Group’s Chinese New Year video that is going viral on social media.Another year, another reunion
The modern Malaysian Chinese family has come a long way. Many practices have been ‘adjusted’ but some things never change.
NOT many families want to talk about it openly. But the all-important Chinese New Year reunion dinners have become more complicated and in recent years, more stressful for sure.
It is almost impossible and even unfair to expect the patriarch and matriarch of the family to cook the meal, traditionally sumptuous and heavy in some cases, especially when they are getting along in years.
Mum’s cooking sounds good everywhere but in many cases, this has become a fond but distant memory. The maid has taken over this role and of course, our expectations have also become more realistic.
The world has changed. The women family members, whether daughters or daughters-in-law, are part of the work force now.
It is wrong to expect them to take over the kitchen duties. In fact, don’t even expect them to do the dishes. Don’t even think about it if you know what’s good for you especially during the festive season.
Cleaning up the house after a feast is a daunting task. All of us understand and accept the fact that we cannot overwork the maid, who are already grumbling about the weaker ringgit.
So, the modern Malaysian Chinese family settles for a compromised position – have the reunion dinner at a hotel or restaurant. Never mind if the food might be crappy.
For a Penangite like me, where Perakanan dishes are compulsory in the reunion meal, I resign to the fact that I won’t find my favourite jiu hoo char (stir-fried turnip with dried cuttlefish) and lobak (meat rolls) at any hotel banquet.
But you know that’s not all. The family member – perceived to be the most successful in life – always ends up paying the hefty bill. It’s only expected.
And we all know that hotel food, like those served on planes, is bad. But telling the person footing the bill that the meal is “lousy” right after dinner is not exactly the appropriate CNY greeting ....
Next, the giving of ang pow for the kids. While no one wants to admit that the amount in these red packets matter, it does!
It’s not going to look too good on you if the ang pow is small – and I mean the money inside, not the size of the packet – and especially if you are perceived to be better off.
Then, the conversation after the reunion dinner. And that is the most sensitive which can cause friction and great unhappiness.
I am not talking about the 1MDB and the RM2.6bil donation issue but explosive questions to family members, who are past 30 and still unmarried.
Yes, these purportedly choosy types, who think their partner, especially if you are a woman, should have better degrees, bigger car, a house, a club membership, a steady job with hopes of further promotions and of course, good looks, a great sense of humour as well as soft skills. By this, I mean having the ability to appreciate fine food and wine.
For the guys, they expect their partners to be able to cook like their mothers, be as good looking and curvy as the celebrities they see in heavily photoshopped pictures in magazines and of course, have a good career to help pay for the household bills.
But that’s not the end of it. If you are married and have not started a family, you would be offered many unsolicited solutions from busybody aunties – from artificial insemination to eating bull’s penises. Of course, there are subtle accusations of dangerous liaisons in China, what with the frequent business trips there.
No wonder the Chinese population in Malaysia is shrinking fast. But of course, like many Chinese voters, the blame has to fall on the Government. Their failure, or inability or refusal, to start a family, is the fault of the government entirely.
And if you happen to work in the media, all eyes will be on you. In this case, it’s me. With Google and news portals with anti-government slants easily available these days, everyone is now an expert on every issue. We have all become instant analysts and opinion shapers.
Yes, yes, of course, Malaysia’s temperature during the CNY will drop to as low as 16°C and will be the coldest CNY ever.
“That’s what the social media said what, so must be true mah!”
But it’s a reunion dinner. After the interrogation of the poor singles, it undoubtedly has to come to politics. I am not sure if this is a Malaysian thing, like the open house, but do people in other countries whine too?
Probably they do, and by now politicians in modern democracies would have realised that they have to earn their respect.
Don’t expect the people to pay homage to you because no one told you to stand for election and for sure, don’t expect us to be eternally grateful to you because you came begging for our votes with plenty of promises.
They have to learn that they will be belittled, ridiculed and criticised. So don’t run to the powers that be to shut anyone up with sedition charges. Get used to it.
I expect the grumbling and cynical remarks to be louder this year at gatherings with family and friends. There are a lot of unhappy people around.
But politicians do not have to worry too much as the louder yam seng will drown the complaints. To all Malaysians celebrating Chinese New Year, I wish you all Gong Xi Fa Cai!
By Wong Chun Wai on the beat The Star
Wong Chun Wai began his career as a journalist in Penang, and has served The Star for over 27 years in various capacities and roles. He is now the group's managing director/chief executive officer and formerly the group chief editor.
On The Beat made its debut on Feb 23 1997 and Chun Wai has penned the column weekly without a break, except for the occasional press holiday when the paper was not published. In May 2011, a compilation of selected articles of On The Beat was published as a book and launched in conjunction with his 50th birthday. Chun Wai also comments on current issues in The Star.
Related posts:
No, I don’t have a daughter for you to marry and we’re not
going on a road trip to hand out wedding invitations. this isn’t that...
From Left :- Director of Valuation Services Chee Kok Thim , Rahim
& Co Executive Chairman Senator Tan Sri Dato' Abdul Rahim Abdul...
Liew and his son Tian Xiong (left) at the
interview. The biggest shareholder of Eco World Development Group is
Tian Xiong, who at 22 in 2...Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Ageing together: it takes a nation, family; more children if you can afford to
THE Government cannot face the challenges of an ageing nation alone, Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun says. The problem requires a joint effort involving the Government, local councils, developers, insurance companies, non-governmental organisations (NGOs) and individuals, she says.
“Everybody must be responsible and do their part,” she insists.
Giving an example, she says developers should plan townships for senior citizens to grow old within the community “like one big family”.
She says local councils also play a very important role in ensuring that the roads and buildings are accessible to the elderly.
To encourage collaborations between the NGOs, the Government gives incentives to corporations to run corporate social responsibility projects, she says.
She says individuals have to plan for old age by keeping healthy and active and saving for their future needs.
On plans to build more homes to accommodate the growing number of seniors, she says the ministry hopes to de-institutionalise homes because a family environment is always better.
However, legislation forcing grown children to care for their parents, is “not the way”, she stressed.
She says cultivating values like filial piety by stressing on the importance of family bonds through education, is preferable.
“We have nine (registered) old folks homes nationwide with a total of 1,590 residents.
“And, there are an additional two homes housing more than 200 bedridden residents, 70% of whom are above age 60.
“If we accept residents too easily, some will just send them to us because it’s convenient,” she says, adding that five activity centres for seniors will be built in addition to the existing 45 nationwide. The number will be increased steadily.
She says ‘caring complexes’ housing both seniors and orphans are in the pipeline.
“The idea is for kids to cheer up the seniors while learning from their elders,” she says.
She says better health services have led to Malaysians living longer with couples now having to care for their children, parents and grandparents.
Acknowledging that it’s a huge financial burden, she says the ministry is trying to educate young couples on how to better plan for their family.
Explaining that family planning isn’t just about birth control, she says it entails managing family finances.
“We’re not asking couples to give birth blindly but if you can afford to, you should have more children,” she says.
On June 14, Sunday Star front paged how urban parents can expect to pay as much as the combined price of a luxury car and a semi-detached house to raise a child up to degree level. The report followed a remark by Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Rohani Abdul Karim urging Malaysians to have more kids to address the projected shrinking population.
National Council of Senior Citizens Organisations Malaysia president Datuk Dr Soon Ting Kueh is “very disappointed” that the country’s seniors were left out of both the 10th and 11th Malaysia Plan, lamenting that the elderly are a neglected lot.
“There is no social security for the old,” he points out.
Calling for a national forum to be held fast, he cautions that the country may reach aged nation status even before 2030.
“Everyone will grow old. The only question is when.
“We must tackle these challenges together but the Government has to spearhead the solution with a detailed development plan.”
While supportive of the Government’s call for couples to have more kids, he feels that it won’t solve the problem.
Suggesting a private pension fund be set up, he says it will ease the financial burden on families caring for their old parents while giving the seniors a sense of independence.
Seniors who are poor and without family must be cared for by the Government, he insists.
“There aren’t enough government old folk homes nationwide,” he says.
“We need at least 90 but we don’t even have one per state.”
Those who can afford private nursing homes are also suffering, he says.
He estimates there are some 4,000 private centres nationwide but only slightly more than 200 are regulated.
“Some pay between RM500 and RM600 to live in very poor conditions where seniors are hosed down instead of getting a proper bath.
“These unlicensed homes are stinky and the living conditions very undignified,” he says.
He feels that country’s healthcare system also needs to be improved.
“The waiting time is too long and there are not many geriatric doctors.
“The seniors will be dead by the time they get treatment,” he says, only half-in-jest.
But, he stresses, the seniors themselves must grow old with dignity by keeping active.
Soon’s deputy, Susan Suah, says there’s a need for aged-friendly housing.
The interior designer is working to come up with building guidelines. Some problems in current housing include the lack of bathrooms on the ground floor, switches that are too high up and poor lighting, she says.
“We have rooms for maids but not for old parents?,”she says adding that aged-friendly homes must be made mandatory.
Universiti Sains Malaysia (School of Social Sciences) associate professor Dr Saidatulakmal Mohd notes that while some supermarkets and shopping centres have started becoming aged-friendly, none of the new housing developments are.It’s worse when residential houses are converted into nursing homes for the elderly as it has been proven to be non-conducive to their wellbeing.
“We don’t need to wait until Malaysia becomes an aged society. Many of the elderly are already being abandoned and abused, she says.
“While it’s easy to point to the Government for a solution, it’s important to note that welfare aid for seniors has risen over the years.”
To cover rising public healthcare costs, she anticipates higher taxes for the future generation.
But unlike their parents, youngsters today don’t expect their children to care for them in their old age.
“This is because they are facing financial hardship providing for their family while supporting their aged parents and don’t want their children to go through the same thing,” she explains.
She calls on the Ministry of Women, Family and Community to bring back the ‘elderly in the community’ initiative to promote active ageing.
To be a developed nation by 2020, we need active seniors who can contribute to the nation but this is only possible if aged-friendly infrastructure is ready and the elderly are financially supported.
“In the UK, I saw seniors shopping for groceries, paying their own bills and eating out - which is rare here.
“In Malaysia, seniors are seen as ‘abandoned’ if they do these things themselves.
“The perception needs to change.” - The Star/Asian News Network
Related:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)